When I was in high school, my kuya (big brother) gave me a notebook made out of recycled paper. I really don't know what to do with it since I'm not fond of writing my thoughts or scribbling my ideas. But still, I was thankful for his gift. So what I did was to write down 100 things I want to do and achieve in life. Given my very young age, I just wrote things like visit Boracay, have 50,000 pesos in my bank account, graduate with honors and visit countries like USA, Hongkong, Singapore, UK, and the rest of Europe etc. Mostly the entries are of a very young child with high hopes and dreams. I don't regard if these are possible or not. This list made me strive and work more. It served as my motivation throughout the years. It always reminded me that there's a very bright and long future ahead of me.
I haven't had the chance to revisit the list. I have to look for it, update it and laugh at some entries i put in it.
I did a similar list with a new notebook. But this time, I was considering my time left in this world. I wrote it a day after I've found out I was positive. I separated entries according to categories, travel - places I think are still achievable for me to visit, financial - like setting up a different account for my medical needs in the future, a life and memorial plan, and personal - things that are of value of me and to whom I'll pass it on (almost a will).
I know it's a bit stupid. It's like setting a deadline for myself. It's like a spur of the moment thing, to write what I feel like writing while my emotions are still high.
After writing a second version of my bucket list, I felt relieved. I closed the notebook and never had the chance to open it again or maybe I'm just scared to feel again what I've felt while writing it.
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