527,040 minutes

Rent is one of my favorite musicals of all-time. I've been listening to their music from time to time. And of course, who doesn't know its most popular song, Seasons of Love? It's a very catchy song and has a very clear message, "How do you measure a year?".

This song has a huge impact on me now. Exactly a year ago, five hundred twenty seven and forty minutes (it's a leap year), I got my confirmatory result. 

I received a text message from the QC Bernardo Social Hygiene Clinic telling me that my confirmatory result is ready and I can come to the clinic anytime to claim it. I immediately texted my friends who knew my status (four of them). I decided to come the next day before I go to work. Two of them went with me since we live near each others' places.

We got to the clinic around 8am. We sat at the reception area to wait for Dra. People are starting to arrive too. Most of them are women and about 5 men. All of them are working in local clubs and bars. An attendant started to call them and asked them to sit in front of a television. A man is showing some video and started to talk about sexual health while one by one is being called to the laboratory for their check-up.

Then Dra. arrived. I approached the nurse's table and asked if I can already see Dra. to get my result. She entered Dra.'s room and asked me to come in. I went inside with my friends. Then Dra. asked if I wanted them to be there. I simply said yes.

She pulled-out a stack of envelops. There were about fifty or more letters. While searching for mine, she frustratedly told us, "Tignan niyo to. Ang dami nang nakatambak dito na mga result. Hindi nila kinukuha. Halos araw-araw ko na sila itext. (Look at these. There are a lot of unclaimed results. I almost remind them everyday about it.)" 

I was just silent. I was nervous with mine plus, I'm thinking why they are not claiming their results and what's happening with them right now.

Then she handed me a white envelop addressed from San Lazaro with a code number. I opened it and began reading it. There were checks and there were terms I can't understand. But what I understood in the entire paper was the one written below, POSITIVE. I just looked at my friends and frowned. There were no tears falling from my eyes. Maybe because I've prepared myself for this moment the entire 3 weeks of waiting. 

I looked at Dra. I asked what I needed to do next. She told me that I need choose a treatment hub. She suggested PGH, RITM and San Lazaro since these are the hubs located in the Metro. There are also two private hospitals but it might be costly in the long run. She said that it's good that I already know my status as early as now  so I can take actions how to take care of myself. She also told me that to strengthen my immune system by taking a good rest, lessen stress, eat healthier foods, avoid alcohol and smoke, etc.

But what made me feel at ease was when she told me that I wasn't going to die. Contrary to what majority thinks. There are people with HIV for 10-20 years who are still living normally and very productive. As long as I take care of myself, I'll be OK. Stories that we know who've died early are due to late detection and neglecting to live a healthy lifestyle.

People are scared of HIV because they think they will die immediately. But not me. I am not afraid of HIV's attack on my body. I choose to live longer and healthier. I will fight it for my family, friends, loved ones, myself and my dreams.

A year after my confirmatory, I could say that I'm still fighting. I've lessen my night outs. And if I do go out, I come home by 12am or 1am. I haven't smelled cigarette smoke for months now because I'm avoiding people who smoke and my friend smokers move away at least 10 meters from me. I stopped drinking or I just take 1-2 sips every 2-3 months. I've been eating home-cooked and healthy foods. Seldom I go to fast foods. I've been regularly taking my daily dose of vitamins. I've been sleeping 6-8 hours a day on weekdays and 8-10 hours on weekends. I never forget to be thankful of all my blessings. I've appreciated more my life and other people. 

I've never felt healthier, happier, more loved and more blessed. So many things have happened in one year and I could consider this one of the best years of my life. No tears have fell out from my eyes since my initial testing. Maybe because I've learned to make my positive status a motivation to see life positively and to make the most out of it, be an inspiration for others to not lose hope in their struggles, and to live life with love in my heart.